A Lesson from the Convertible…

This week my beloved Vroomhilda was difficult.  A fifteen year old very polite vw cabrio convertible, the old girl became somewhat of a pain lately. I’d like to say that it’s because she’s finicky, selfish or perhaps just plain old mean, but the truth is she’s been doing work that was not hers without enough care.  She made a few waves in the summer, spewing hot when she should have been cold, she got immediate attention for that act out, for who wants to be spewing hot when its 101 degrees.  Discomfort got our attention. Doesn’t it always? This week she waited until she could wait no more, and despite politely sending some warnings…e.g. spilling antifreeze over something small, freezing me out on a 15 degree day when locks wouldn’t work, finally, when she had been ignored with only minor attentions and refills, her engine could go no more, she started a hissing and a misting, leaking and bleaking….she simply exhibited red on every.single.parameter she owned including the horn. When simple system failures were ignored long enough, other systems were at risk, and eventually with the overtaxing of events that didn’t belong as part of her daily routine, her whole world had a melt down in literal and physical ways.

How long do you have to suffer before you choose to change?

As I maneuvered her to a safe place to rest, I kept thinking of my own world and what I go through believing that the same actions will turn out differently. Last time I checked my body has been struggling with additional weight since my first child was born…uh hm…20 years ago.  TWENTY. I have believe it would get better, I have at times, worked on getting it better, but like Vroomhilda my body has over the last three years begun to show warning signs of an impending hissy fit if I do not change what is going on or do some repairs before a system failure happens and starts an avalanche of things I do not wish to go through.

What area(s) of your life are your systems failing?

My executive virtual assistant Sonia Schenker creates ease in my life.  Diligent, hard working and able, she is fully capable of executing tasks that often I do not/cannot as I do tasks that are more urgent that I do myself for others. She’s not only that for me, but she can do the same for my clients, assess their needs and even hire and train their va’s.  Wallah…magic in a moment for all of us.  Self care.  This year I am doing something different about the amount of work load systems that I personally am responsible.  As a strategist I know that the best focus of my time is to be in charge of the tasks that my team cannot do and to let them do what they best do. Isn’t it true for all of us?

What is it you best do?  Really, and that question is qualified with “and LIKE to do” for there isn’t a rule that says you’re “holy” er for sticking it out and doing what you dislike doing. In fact, I challenge you to consider that in staying in the mindset of  “but I can do it” you’re wasting the gifts that others cannot do.  I continue personally to struggle let go of  beliving that I should do all the things that I can do, to believing that things that others can do on our team are best done by them. We cannot be all things to all people, and we cannot afford to be all things to ourselves or our businesses either. Do you take your accountant your surgical problems? Do you take to your veterinary clinic the responsibility of preparing fine meals for yourself? Then why do you believe that you need to be in charge of all things in your own life or business? Systems are necessary, systems completed only by you completely limiting to your ability to scale or create personal time in your space. (Remember those other members of your family, team, staff….they will be happier in an environment where life isn’t all on your plate too, regardless of what they may mutter…each of seek to know our role is important, valued, and worthy, and we are trustable to do enact them.)

What do you do best? Where is your joy in doing? What makes your happiest, most satisfied moments in life?  When, like Eric, do you feel God’s pleasure in your running?  That, I challenge you, THAT is where your gifts are…. It’s not that you cannot do other things, it’s not that you can always send the other things elsewhere, but to do what is not your gift as your main focus while owning gifts within you that go undone….I believe that is one of the greatest sadnesses of living.

Vroomhilda has cracked under pressure. In her desire to be all that she seeks to be for me, she has neglected her need to be adored for what she is… a Porsche disguised as a VW Cabrio.  Her engine is almost identical to that of a 914, which would have been treated differently than one destined to have the body of a plain Jane life.  She would have been run harder, faster, and burned off the carbons that eventually have choked her.  As a Porsche she would have had more long drives at faster speeds, not having to sit idle in traffic as often, saved for more precious drives that fully suited her capabilities….and we all know the quarter miles would have come more often and with much more joy.  We cannot be something we’re not very long and stay healthy.  She has suffered, as we all do, when we continue to “discipline” ourselves into something we’re not. (And the truth is she’s NOT a simply 4 cylinder VW….she’s so much more under the hood.)

We’ve talked a good bit about self care in this Year of Allowing, but today I ask you to consider, what are you best at? What brings you joy? We’re not talking qualifying statements like “it makes me money” or “I get awards for that” for we can all learn to do things that are not our gifts.  What is it that makes your heart smile. When do you know that you know that your body and mind groove to the doing like when I am in a store shopping with the ‘right” music, a groove that requires movement or dancing the aisles and at the least a smile on my heart. (I know, store environments are nailing my happy place lately…and there is a whole FIELD of marketing on this creating the learner/audience/shopper environment…it’s the wave of the future with product such as video, sound, aroma management we have today.)

If your mind was to ask your heart to come alive and speak up, what would it say about where your heart lives?  It’s work pondering, and noticing, and taking notes on for the next week or maybe more.  Personally I had to keep asking for about a year before the answers became audible enough to be heard.  I’ll warn you though, once you begin to hear your heart speak….life is going to change, and you’re not going to care what kind of effort that takes…for it will be worth it…as it was with Vroomhilda, though it took her some spit and vinegar to get  my attention.  Self care usually does when neglected long enough.

What systems in your life are going on TILT to get your attention? How many of them, like my health choices, have been hollerin for a good while?  What’s it going to take to hear your own needs in your life?  I challenge you to take this week, consider your systems and solutions…what’s working and what may warrant some consideration before you too, like Vroomhilda, have an experience on the side of your life’s road?