A dear friend of mine often reminds me that “aren’t we all flawed?” and of course the answer is yes, and there in lies my struggle some days. As an educator I am often in the role of helping learners young and old move past what they do not recognize or value in their life as important skills or values. An entrepreneur may or may not have the experience to understand why doing this or that, spending this or that will ultimately not bring the goal he seeks to achieve. Another immaturity may cost a very successful author their ability to continue to be hired due to a lack of consistent choices where their finances are concerned. These are the tasks of a strategist as well as to develop a campaign, or to create a substructure for a winning development for a brand. Character though is something that seems to be simply within us, not something that can be taught. The problem for me personally and professionally though is when someone has shown time after time that they are not engaging in the character trait of integrity towards others hearts, well, they tend to be put in time out temporarily or permanently, for I work to encourage, teach, and empower hearts and minds, not wound them.
I believe deeply in the power of learning. My personal journey with students of all ages for 30 years has taught me that when one becomes aware of new capabilities, or paths, they very often will work until they achieve them. Aren’t we that way as children naturally? If we are in a healthy environment, we learn fairly quickly that the work of pulling up allows us to see, a smile may bring positive smiles back, etc. We assimilate and create new ways to function as we learn. I am thankful that we also have the capability to let go, stop, and remove that which isn’t working from our repetitoire of behavior…sometimes on our own, other times we need support from specialist to learn or to unlearn the next steps. Whether individuals or corporations, taking time to become aware, identify the true issues and strengths, and identify the skills and systems lacking or strong makes the solution sets appear almost magically when its time to grow. I love that for most of us, learning is simply a matter of awareness executed with instruction and desire to learn…but what do you do when you come to that place when someone or someones are simply not willing to change what they know to be destroying their business, others, or themselves?
What is it that you’ve learned through the characters who exist in your life? How does that teach you about the character within your own spirit?
“but what do you do when you come to that place when someone or someones are simply not willing to change what they know to be destroying their businesses, others, or themselves?”
In my years of supporting at-risk youth, as well as many more years of lamenting that very crossroad when I see it happening in the lives of my peer family members, friends, business associates–male and female–all I can say is this:
I need to remain vigilant about my own power struggles. What I mean is that I have to watch for this crossroad when it intersects my path… where I’m required to admit I am powerless to open their eyes, much less fix their world. I then have to simply support their crash. If I don’t recognize that crossroad in myself, the resulting arrogance always crashes something in MY life. Then as I’m picking myself off the floor, the bells chime loudly in my head…”Oh, I get it now…”
I am so aware that we must have our needs met before we can grow…arrogance is often based in fear…fear is a secondary emotion to need…so in order to grow their needs must be met at primal level before the concepts of organization and perspectives can be grown…as always appropriate, healthy care is the answer..and sometimes that means walking away.