This morning was THE morning….I got up and spent the first two hours before my family awakened going over the notes that we had been given by our regular teacher for this week’s verses in James. All week I worked on the 26 verses, I looked up all the concordance notes and made my own notes and outlines to teach by. I listened hard as I read the verses outloud to myself …praying “God, help me to understand what you need me to say” You see there is this rule in my life….that I have to do the homework on my own, listening, putting in the time with God in study before God takes over the lesson when I teach. Often, the work I prepare has nothing to do where God takes the lesson in the end, but the preparation time spent in prayer and in study is what paves the way. Six thirty a.m. came and so did my mom chores. I rmember daily what a privilege it is to eat breakfast at home with my children, for 11 years of the 15 years I have had them I could not…I had to be working at school too early to enjoy a slow morning with them. The mornings are my love them up time…and usually they are sleepy enough to enjoy the hugs and kisses, even as tweens and teens.
I showered and dressed carefully, not wanting to leave late for our time together….arrived at our church by 8:15 for the 9:00 class. After all, seats needed to be brought to the room we use, coffee to be made… by 8:30 I was reading deeply and drinking in new meanings as God revealed them to me, new perceptions, new thoughts as I read each Word for the umpteenth time this week….at 8:50 I began to realize that no one was coming….the halls were quiet and the doubts began to creep in my mind. “They won’t come, they don’t approve of me leading” My usual arrival time is 9:01, and I assumed everyone else had their acts together to get to the church much more timely than I do. The fiery darts began firing “Will they come knowing I am leading?” “Perhaps my past once again will make me an outcast among them” “They don’t want to be here if I am leading” Then the children’s minister came to the door. Her face said “concern” as my imagination ran away with me waiting to hear her news. “Will you pray for so and so….she is facing such a struggle” and went on to explain….of course, I was honored to be asked, and “Of course I will, tell me more about the specific needs” I mumbled and sputtered….feeling silly that I had thought perhaps she came to tell me that no one would be there.
About that time the bustling and joyful sounds began…and the ladies all bustled in and began sharing their tales of their week a part from each other….God whispered “See…….see……I told you they would come” and for the next hour and half God took over lesson….the Word was shared, our stories were shared…and hearts were visibly mending as cleansing tears flowed as individuals prayed at the end of our time together….tears of healing, tears of joy and thanksgiving….and as I closed our time of study, sharing, and prayer, I was once again awed by an incredible God who uses the ashes of my past, my darkest moments shared, my masks removed to create this new beautiful thing … restoration that I had nothing to do with creating…..the story of James urges us all to use a God perspective when we choose our actions, our paths, our thoughts and our deeds….for the Royal Law says
….and while that law given to us by the King of Kings may be easy to say. For some it may be harder to think of loving others more than themselves…..the story I shared today and others added their own versions as well, was how it is easy for me to love other people as they are, accept their imperfections, failings, and forgive them. I shared how very hard my journey has been to love myself, to forgive my own mistakes and shortcomings. I know how many times I have failed and I have failed on the big things….
But God’s word is truth. If I am to accept that God cannot lie, then I must also accept that because I have asked Christ to live in me, that I am deemed righteous, forgiven, and loveable. I can not pick and choose which verses to believe. The truths of God’s word must pertain to me as well as others… I must learn to accept God’s perception of me, that I am precious, God’s chosen child and loved so deeply by Him despite my shortcomings.
Jesus was sent to deliver the gift of grace: A baby born to save us from our sins, His burden of atonement through crucifiction, arms open wide enduring the full price of our sins….his death on the cross the final ending of our shame….returning home to heaven with His Father so that the Holy Spirit could come to live within us. The full restoration of our never ending life through Him accomplished…..that is the grace I know lives within me today. God only asks one thing of me, that I believe by faith that Jesus died for my sins, to allow His love to guide my life and my actions….and to obey his command to love others as myself….that is Christ’s requirement….and so my task today is to learn to love me, myself as I am, warts an all….to choose to say “Yes Lord” to his command. I pray everyone will say “yes” to seeing themselves through God’s eyes and accept His word that you are indeed loveable and loved deeply by our Father in heaven…and worthy of His love.
I am so very thankful for our God and His mercy…
I am so happy for you!! But then again I knew God would show up in a big way. WAY TO GO GOD! WAY TO GO GIRL!
Wonderful post! I can understand what you said about the darts of the enemy. I have had to deflect them with the armor of God many times myself. Why is it that when we most need to keep our confidence in Christ, we then, seem to lose it?
I will answer my own question with no doubt that it is because the enemy knows that we have a destiny in Christ to share His love and His good news and does not like it, not one bit!
May He bless you richly for being His obedient servant, a willing vessel to share His Word and your life experiences!
-Melissa