Do you ever hold folks to standards you know you cannot keep yourself? Last night we were looking at a major purchase. It was the moment where either individual gets their way, or a common ground is forged and a 3rd choice is made. Of course, being the politically correct polite wife I said “honey whatever you think is best” but were those the biggest false words I have said in the recent past….for in my heart his choice was a test…”if he chooses this He puts us first….if he chooses that…well, we know where we stand….if he choses that other, it may be Easter before I cool down from the heat it will produce.
hmpff
don’t you just hate being honest with yourself sometimes? Did I intentionally set up this purchase to be a “test” or “proof” of my husband’s love, absolutely not. However, by not being bluntly blunt about how I felt about the choices, I was being dishonest. Truth was only one of the choices was okay with me , period….and no it wasn’t the pick that I liked either. We’re adults and parents, and that means many times personal desires are set aside, family needs have to come first.
Looking in the mirror of my heart this morning I’m not very proud of the silence we rode home in last night. Not particularly pleased with my olympic speed judgement of my truly wonderful husband when he did choose the unpopular choice……and most of all……really not liking the reflection of “what if the shoe had been on the other foot and he had acted that way to me” picture……for I know what I would have chosen and it wouldn’t be the mutually beneficial choice for all.
Love one another as you love yourself……..even at Christmas….even when its hard…..even at the end of a very very long day when you’re faced with tough decisions.
Heaven help me and forgive me my trespasses……Father God, thank you for allowing me to mess up, for showing me gently in my spirit how wrong I was, and for fresh beginnings and forgiveness and a husband who takes it all in stride and loves me anyway…..
God is good.
