I left for Nashville, TN last Wednesday with the intention of being home Friday night, but God has another plan. This whole walk with trusting God means that no longer is my life my own, and I have to be ready at any time to go and do what He sends me to do. My flesh burns to have some control, but I am ever realizing that the only control I may ever have again is to learn to let go and truly allow God to be God and realize it will be for my good.
Our humanness desires to know what to expect. Some of us will even choose the familiar over God’s plan for us. I have worked for years with families that will choose the same routines simply because they are familiar whether or not they work. In our own step family, we so had to learn to recognize and halt the “rules” of family life that we had brought to the table. Traditions are important to families, but in the step family, it is also equally important to honor what is, not what could have been or what isn’t.
My two younger children are with their natural father and step mom in another state. They need them in their life. They are as deeply in love with our children as we are. We may totally disagree on most things, but we are solid on the fact we want what is best for our children and for them to have the things they most need.
I am continually amazed at how God has orchestrated even the bleakest parts of my life into something useful. So many years of not understanding the value of this or that experience now suddenly makes so much sense in the world I am facing. A perfect preparation to be in the position of learning a new playing field. A smattering of life experiences that allow me some conceptual understanding of the task God has set before me…..education, two failed marriages, successful sales and training experiences, facilitation experiences, experiences in hosting and planning big and small events, back website experience and detailing aesthetic experiences, creating and dissolving, moving and bartering….God has so richly prepared me for what is now before me, yet I know each step is only a preparation for the solid vertical learning he is now teaching me.
The lesson continues to be trust and obedience. The things happening in my life do not make sense in my academic head, yet they are happening. My psyche wants to understand, but in the realm of the supernatural, its about submission, obedience, and praise, and not in that order. Issues lie before me that I cannot imagine how we’ll surmount and yet God is God and suddenly they are moved.
Its an amazing journey and I pray that God allow me to finish the course with Him in obedience…I so want to see the end of this race to a new land….and not be left in the wilderness because of disobedience. This dream He gave me is bigger than I could have understood, yet God is a big God….and I am so humbled to see His hand at work so near and in my heart….
Please Lord, help me learn to be sensitive to your whisperings, and praising of your name always!
God is God and He is enough!
