As I grow older (43) I realize that so much of what mattered to me from other people was their warmth, mercy, and acceptance. Memories are built upon those places in the depths of my heart. I look at a small blue framed picture of a home blessing that a lady I barely knew in church gave me upon my marriage to Dh. Not many folks line up to be joyful about a 3rd marriage….its truly was point of shame for most of us who were facing one…but this 75+ plus year old twinkly eyed wonder said a very meaningful thing to me “I want this to remind you of the joy and grace God has given you to try again.” My first marriage was almost over before it began at 21….so unexpectedly to me, I thought we were happily married when he left forever. A second marriage lasted for over a decade, and left me profoundly hurt emotionally and financially in ruin. It took much courage for me to even think I would ever allow anyone in my heart again much less near my children, however God had another plan…and through His plan I am in the happiest imaginable life with a dear husband who loves me for me.
I have a card from a friend I only see a few times a decade, but it matters that she too knows the value of being one’s personal cheering/praying section from afar. Emails, phone calls, letters….we stay close in heart… My memory runs to someone else’s Granny Bell, who always in her spiffy outfit at 80+, seemed to find joy and a smile in any hardship. Who shared endless joy with her six children and many grandchildren. Or Granny Gin Smith, in Arkansas, who has adopted the world to love, for she finds love is a universal healer. Women who face the truth of people and who they are, but love them despite the knowledge….my saying “To truly love someone is to love them as they are, not as we wish they would be, is to truly love them….” comes from watching a lifetime of women like these.
My friend in Arkansas who loves me despite me….and on my worst of times finds me on the interstate with the left behind purse 20 miles from her home. Another who knows we are safe for each other to call and scream with excitement or sob with sadness…yet we know the other knows we’re there….
It matters to me that I be the kind of person these ladies have been for me. I wish to envelop people in God’s hope, God’s forgiveness, and God’s mercy…and joy. In some ways its a natural definition of the Southern lady I hoped to be as I grew up, modeling the same strength, courage, wisdom, and ability to spread joy as those I grew up around. Despite any situation or trauma….they came, they loved, they cared and they got the jobs done.
God is good…..and the common denominator in all of these women is that He is first in their life. ….and I pray and continually surrender my infinately many flaws so that I may grow to be that way also! Moment by moment…..
