Making It Mine Lesson #5

When I have faced and owned an area of my life that needs to be addressed, I find a common theme.  Once you have identified that lack or awareness of a skill area in your life, you have about seven days to process and move towards a commitment to change.  As I coach and work with individuals and business I hear a common theme.  A fear of failure is often what allows someone or a business to excuse themselves from growing.  However, when that lack or skill area is identified and the business or individual truly wants to grow, that information coupled with the person truly being in integrity with their said words affirming they desire to grow…well integrity demands that growth occur.

You can’t say you want to make it as an entrepreneur if you’re unwilling to learn skills of marketing, communication, book keeping, and the proficiency in your chosen area.  If you’re unwilling to expand and learn those skills, your words become inconsistent with the integrity it takes to succeed.

I can talk all day long about why i am 75 lbs overweight.  Those words of wanting to be thinner or healthier are inconsistent with the actions I am taking to do something about it.  Since becoming aware of that truth, it is rare for me to say “I wish I could lose weight” and I have chosen a more truthful set of words “I am unwilling to choose steps that will allow my body to lose weight”  Why that truth is true I am still working on, but at least I am now in alignment with what I say versus what I do.  Integrity with yourself is important and it is part of what leads to a peace filled life.

Fear of failure can look like many forms of “I can’t”….it can show up as “it’s too expensive”, “I don’t have the time” “That will never work” or “When I …I’ll do that” but it may be that you’re simply not in integrity with yourself on that topic.  The truth may be that you’re unwilling to, not that you can’t.  Your truth may be that you value latte’s once a day than a new computer every two months.  It may be that you don’t like what will become obvious if doing that action won’t solve the problem you’ve hung it on for the longest time.  (What if I get skinny and I still can’t  __________) We often carry an acceptable excuse in our minds that covers an unacceptable fear hidden beneath the surface.

Integrity says I am this and I am okay with it.  Integrity means that if you’re not okay with something you start dealing with whatever it is until you are. Fear of failure can allow you to be stuck in that space for a lifetime, but integrity demands that if you’re stuck, you seek help, change, growth, or experience until you can change.