It occured to me this weekend that your baby isn’t your baby any more when she turns 19.
Last August I turned fifty and as the summer heat comes in full bloom, its seems I’ve also hit mid-life.
It’s not a bad thing.
Mothering has been such an intregal part of my life, I mothered long before I became one. I adore hearts of all ages and love to adore their presences in my life. Birthing and marrying children brought a new perspective after loving many children in my classrooms each year. Later, as I taught at the university level it was still the same, I loved seeing minds grow, individualisms come forward, and unique talents uncovered.
Isn’t life such a privilege? Being in community with others who are sharing the experience can be divine.
Each of my children are unique. Each of my students and now clients are completely and utterly themselves, thousands of threads of experience have created the person they are.
This week has been a time of struggle for many. Fear I suspect is at the bottom of the struggle when you dig past the rhetoric and inclusion/exclusion tactics. I find personally that God is God enough to take care of any aligning He might want to change in a person’s life, my job is simply to love the hearts He puts in front of me.
Hard?
At times, just as my students who are on the grow with behavior disorders, children with brain injuries or giftedness could be challenging, we often have to struggle to get to new places in our thinking. A client on a bad day can be explosive. A family member disrespectful when they are overwhelmed. But in the end, it’s about choosing your own boundaries, deciding for yourself and allowing your life to be an open book when it comes to someone who SEEKS what it is you believe.
My own struggles are real, the lessons have often come at high prices of mistakes made, my perspectives enlarge with more experience in any area of my living. I do not remember a single time that any of my students are clients were convinced by “or else” attitudes, belittling, or labeling them. In fact, I believe what taught me most in life were those who had opposing or hard truths to share but waited until I was ready to seek their wisdom or experience…not forced it upon me, nor gloat as they goaded me.
We are in the midst of much more than mid summer…and the idea that continues to evolve in my thinking is I want to focus more on how I live and interact each day, than how others choose to. My own experience is that actions speak entirely louder than any words anyone has ever said. Words can hurt as well as heal, I hope to use them kindly regardless of the topic.
Small things matter. Mid summer gardens are growing because seeds were planted weeks ago, before that saved from crops months ago, far before that learned to plant from lessons and values long ago shared. No one act is in isolation in our lives or our community.
Let’s be action takers in our spaces. Hearts who respect all people, even if not their ideas or actions. There’s room for disagreement when respectful conversations are appropriate. Agree to disagree if it comes to that. Hearts who affirm and act to care for our families and those of our communities. Let’s applaud those who daily do the hard things in their actions, their movements each day whether lauded or not.
After all this is your life, personally at mid-life I’m willing to stand for what I believe in, but I am also willing to hear others opinions and views. It doesn’t mean I have to engage their beliefs, nor them ours, but it helps us all to understand the perspectives.
