The path of a blended family is sometimes challenging. When Dh and I married almost thirteen years ago we had four children ages five to sixteen, we lived at that time, six hours from one another, and our children had met each other exactly twice when we decided to marry. (it was either marry or go broke between cell bills long before unlimited talk and exhaustion from trying to drive 800 miles a weekend on top of single parenting!) We didn’t know that we’d probably choose both by combining families..lol. In those days, children still needed to do get to see their other parents at least every now and then for our further state parents, and every other weekend for our smallest ones. Life has a way of humbling us sometimes, I was a “get it done” kind of girl, so I believed I could ferry all the exchanges on my own, drive each way not to “trouble” the other parents and manage to teach during the day, work often at events at night with the children for school, and then drive every weekend both ways and not “trouble” the others with helping.
About took myself out living on that kind of “taking care of everybody” except one day I realized that I wasn’t taking care of every body, I was taking care of exhausting myself, eliminating self care because I was too busy doing “others care” and after many many weeks of trying to keep up everything on all fronts, I was not the person who I wanted to be…and my body was showing that it wasn’t going to stand for that kind of neglect much longer.
Kevin Leman has a book, Smart Women Know When to Say No, that talks about this a good bit, if you’ve not heard of it, look it up on Amazon…it’s a continual read in my world, to remind me of all the ways I sabotage living my best life if I do not pay attention.
Wisdom has nothing to do with the number of years on this earth. My then five year old daughter said one of the trips. “Mamma, why do you do all the driving both ways? I love talking and singing with you on the happy highways…but maybe my Daddy Ex Dh needs to have happy talking and singing time too”
Out of the mouths of babes. continue reading
I haven’t heard of that book by Kevin Lehman, but generally like him. And one of my goals this year is to say no more to the unimportant things and yes to the important ones!
Hi Krystyn,
I really enjoy Kevin, he’s a great person, and excited to see his new school project. This book may be old, but its been on my recommend list to my strategy clients (men and women) and its one they always say they didn’t think they needed but helped with communicating to themselves! (and clients) Nice to meet you! ~Sweetie