There are thousands of tweets, comments, articles, and voices calling out how to succeed in business. There are millions of dollars spent annually to market to consumers about what success is supposed to look like. We’re told how to dress, what to eat, where to vacation, and how to best to direct our lives….except they leave out the punch line…to make THEM the most successful…not you.
Success is a highly personal thing. It is more than achieving x goals or making a certain amount of money. It’s living in a way that allows you to be at peace with yourself and the important people and values in your life. As a grown up, wife, mom and step mom I know that success for me personally is more than a paycheck or achieving a title or position. It’s living a life that exemplifies a path I can never completely follow, never achieve, never “finish” as a follower of Christ.
Full time, one company employee opportunities are sometimes attractive and the truth is it makes me feel good to hear them offered, but success on my score sheet has the blueprint of accessibility to my family. You see, for me, being in a 8-5 situation 5 days a week isn’t success for me as wife or a mom. It doesn’t matter what they pay, it won’t fulfill my personal goals or my professional ones. I know that when my husband is out of the country, I will be traveling with our teen who is home schooled when I need to be on location for a project. I know that that works for us because I don’t have to be there 7 days a week or even 7 days in a month. I know that in some cases a more permanent station in their corporate environment or more attention to moving up the chain might bring more esteem, but the truth for me is my marriage and my family come first. It is what I choose to put first, and then focus my client’s needs during their time. At times that means I miss out, I can’t say yes to fabulous opportunities professionally, but it means I can say yes more often than I say no to my family.
A friend of mine in business recently asked why I was happy working with small start ups as well as nationally known speakers and structures. She seemed to be confused as to how I could separate the needs of the two very different client worlds. You see I am from a small town, I know the importance of small town business and small family owned businesses, it is a heart space for me to work with their owners. The skills I learned in big organizations help me to streamline processes that will work for start ups too. The paycheck I receive as they fly is so much more meaningful to me because I see families’ lives get less stressful, become more self sufficient, and allow for parents and couples to focus on family AND on business. I love working with speakers and authors because the ones I work with teach and empower people on how to succeed in life. Whether its small business success or life choices success, they influence hundreds of thousands of people, and I am honored to be a part of that empowering environment. It’s like leaving the farm for the city boardroom literally some days, but it is a life that works for me.
No one’s life is perfect, but I go to bed each night and sleep well, because about nine years ago I stopped trying to be what every one else thought was best for me. I have the support of a husband who cherishes that we put people first over profits. My children know me and I know them. Our family is a blended one, so perhaps we knew the value of not ignoring what it takes to keep a marriage intact. Money is an important thing and I believe a workman is worth his wages, but it’s really a qualifier of someone or an organization willing to invest in growing. Money made is a tool to allow for choices to be made. Whether it’s their structure, their leadership skills, or their product line, in order to grow, a company or individual must first define who they are, and what the goals are in an integrity based way. With that truthful taste of what is…one can often help create what can be. Every one lives their own life. What works for my brothers in Texas works differently than my cousin in New York City. I can’t be them and most likely they can’t be me. Our lives are not cookie cutter shaped modules. At best, I will become who I am meant to be and I will appreciate who they are meant to be too. We are all different and yet the same, we are all in need of each other.
Living your values takes intestinal fortitude. It means facing yourself head on and returning to that person in the mirror regularly to make sure who you are on the outside is who you think you are from an inside perspective. Too often we tow the party line of what we value, but our lives truly express our values in how we spend them. It’s easy to fool yourself into believing you are powerless, that situations for you are different than for other people. It’s easy to sacrifice yourself or pity party yourself all the way to a sad, hopeless life. Why? It’s your choice you know, choose wisely, be who you are…and let the others…well, let the others become who they are.
