This last six weeks has been some of the most challenging of my life. For those of you who know me, this is probably a surprise. I think most friends just assumed life was calming down about now. We’ve been in Alabama a year now, we’re settled into the new home, and the children have adjusted to the 450 mile move. We survived a custody challenge in court, and have made it through the often stress filled holidays and even through my exhusband’s remarriage last weekend….so why was my Monday one of the worst in my life?
Things have been going really well, opportunities to share the stepmother trail with others on the journey have been happening. I feel God’s whisper to share and to allow our circle of sharing to grow. Helping other stepmoms on their journey by sharing our experiences together has been a God whisper for many months now….but it has taken me a while to prepare to write and speak on that topic publically. It is always good to find others to share the journey with, but being transparent with your personal life does not come without cost. Its a surrender thing for me, normally a much more private person. Home projects have been happening to make our new home in Alabama more “ours” and that is good too. But that brings its own stress and extra efforts. The wedding plans in Oklahoma for my oldest step daughter are nearing completion for her April wedding and its all going great ….so why a meltdown now?
Simply this.
When you and your family are having break throughs on your family life and professional life, satan always has to try something new. In our case, exhaustion from a long weekend and the leftover rawness from having a really bad hair cut and color, twelve hours of driving, and an emotionally charged weekend was the last straw. You know the days…you come home exhausted from a long weekend, you manage to get through the day’s work and have dinner ready…..then teenager friends stop by unexpectedly changing the family plans
….you’re glad to have them and yet the energy and dynamics simply push you over the edge of holding what’s left together. They leave after a great evening together, your spouse says something that catches you wrong….and about that time Mt. Tearducts loses its dam…..and the whole world crashes down for a few moments over something silly. Of course, I fueled the pump….I ran too hard this weekend, didn’t plan for more down time or rest time, and came back from the trip that was already emotionally charged as the children participated in their father’s wedding and began a new path ( a happy path for him, but more changes for all of us), we won’t go into the cable company coming and making mistakes with my phone line and internet, the unexpected $300 budget hits or that our insurance company is now telling me they need a court order to continue paying the insurance claims they have been paying for 5 years on a child we have always insured, now that his dad has also covered him argh! ……and I didn’t call the boundary when I should have with the teens in the yard hanging out so long.
Boundaries….
A lack of boundaries for ourselves and our marriage and family allows strife to tiptoe into our life….small things….children forget to be mindful to say appreciative things for efforts made….others take for granted that they are not the only one who has had a tough day….short words are let to fly…and before you know it Satan is having a field day with the redirection of family night. It is so hard to see that very often the things that get us off track are really simply satan at his handywork…..its much easier to blame the guy or child in front of you….but then step away….and think….hmmmm….
You see, my business is helping others whether with their writing needs or with workshops….and if I can be led off track from focusing on loving and caring for others and my own, well, I’m no threat to Satan….and there are no offerings for those wanting to be obedient to their role as mother, stepmother, or those working with step families. We’ve all been to that wrung out place personally haven’t we? But God is God and if we’d only slow down and take the things that we’re working through to Him….He’ll lead our home and life in peace. (this taking my planner to Him is just not getting it done, He’s the God of the perfect plan, and my planner needs to be filled with His plans, not my own)
Dear Lord,
Thank you for being an omniscient God…who knows much more than I’ll ever comprehend. Thank you for safety during our travel, and favor with getting this silly ole hair fixed yesterday. I asked for help and you got me in, and more comfortable in my skin now. Thank you. Forgive me Father when I hold my life and my day too tightly in my own hands instead of using my hands to lift up my life for your use…..Help me to stay on the path you set before me, and keep me close to your heart.
In Jesus name…
Very nice tips. Thanks for sharing!.
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