For weeks my younger son and I have been on the battle ground of his fight for independence. Teenage years are a period of life that are often exciting and trying all at the same time. It is a time when from son’s perspective, he’s old enough to make his own decisions and mature enough to set his own boundaries. At fifteen I want to believe that he is right…but as batter three of four children, my experience as a mom and step mom says he’s not quite there yet.
As much as my son doesn’t want to be mothered at this age, and will aggressively and firmly say he doesn’t…the truth is he still needs assistance setting boundaries for his life. At fifteen he doesn’t have enough life experience when the going gets rough or emotionally painful to know this too will pass. As much as he pushes against my restrictions on his time and his outings, he also knows that I trust him, but I do not trust the world he lives in.
When the time came recently that son’s boundary choices had not kept his life goals in check….his responsibility in homework and school work not quite up to par…his physical health beginning to fail due to exhaustion….mean ole mom had to step in and call time out again. Oh the gnashing and barring of teeth he went through when I finally called time…..and the attempts to change my mind on his boundary changes….but the truth is, children, even teenagers still need parenting.
By the next morning, after going to bed early and sleeping well (by boundary change) son’s attitude was already closer to the guy I know and love…the monster baring his teeth was nowhere to be seen….replaced by the six foot four in his jams ready for a morning hug….almost a hint of thankful appreciation by day three showed in his warm words as went spent time at home in the evenings….well you can’t expect him to admit he was wrong can you?
We all need boundaries …..husband’s, wives, moms, and children….they keep us safe, they help us have time for ourselves and others, they keep our responsibilities met and limit the responsibilities we take on….when we live within boundaries that God sets, we are not in bondage….its the boundaries of obedient living that indeed set us free from the behaviors that would harm us, the sins that would consume us, and the guilt and shame that would destroy us. God is good…He has given us the ultimate boundary guidelines…..the Bible.
My son is not the only one in fighting to push boundaries and try to be independent in his thinking and his ways….I find myself regularly on my face in front of my heavenly father, once again asking for forgiveness for thinking I too, don’t need His guidance…..I hope to be as forgiving and loving as He is to my children…as God is to me when I am rebellious.
God is good!
