When I left Allen, Texas to move closer to family and to take care of my very small children’s needs after I became a single mom, it was a bittersweet close. The home I was leaving in Allen was my dream of a home, I had bought it as it was completed in a new neighborhood, I had prayed long and hard for it. We had won cars there, we had had friends that were so close, closer than my family at times…neighbors that were precious. It was my first home to purchase. My friends there were very close and we had a good time no matter what we were doing. God was literally asking me to leave every dream I ever had and on top of that my marriage no longer existed (that was my fault, not God’s) It was such a blow on every level, humiliating, humbling, financially bereif, socially isolating, shaming my parents, career changing…it was a dark season and a time of locusts. Removed from teaching where I loved to teach by moving, removed from friends and fellowships I adored, removed from the lifestyle I had worked hard to earn, removed from the dream every girl has to live happily ever after and removed from stability at home with two small children.
That was literally a little over a decade ago this summer.
Last night, I realized how God has indeed restored my life. I looked across at my most precious husband grilling with our friend’s husband and laughing and smiling at my friend and I in our bedroom as I worked on it while we visited. My dear friend arrived from Fayetteville, Arkansas. We have been friends through the highest joys and the lowest valleys. We have been friends when gallons of milk were shared and now we share with others who don’t have milk like we didn’t. Last night my home was buzzing with a couple we adore who came to share fellowship with us. A college boy who was and is a privilege to be with, phone calls to other out of town friends brought them near us on a speaker phone. Hamburgers that Dh made were so amazing I literally don’t think I have ever eaten something that tasted as good. Our friends not only entertained us with their tales and laughter, they are the kind of friends that even cleaning the kitchen was fun and they did it for me! Now any other situation would have been horrifyingly shaming to me…but not these folks, these folks are my chosen family. They celebrate our successes and stand with us in prayer. They laugh at my silliness but help shovel out of the difficulties. (which last night included cleaning my master bedroom until it was spotless. I literally choked as I swept the wooden floors as the dust rose…and they laughed at my realities as one hot glued (thanks Nester for concepts) my tassel trim on the drapes. Another wiped down a surface and who knew, there was wood on my dresser….we laughed, shared, and prayed together and it was more than fun! Madison called in from her Dad’s and we got to share with her too, she is in Bible school this week and she is having a great time….Praise God!
Since that move so long ago, I had so missed my friends in Dallas. The comradery that they had brought to my world then……the knowledge that I was loved by them and they by me. Last night I realized that God has indeed given me more than I had. Restored my life to overflowing with blessings of friendships… A house full of healthy children to love, a plethora of dogs (well, that might be considered a God smight), a soft cuddly rabbit that gives kisses, couple friends that indeed are our prayer partners and friends, and a joy that is so wondrous as God orchestrates this tapestry.
My days are filled with so much right now, some of good, most of it requiring so much more than I’ve ever been, but all of it joyful. I realize God hasn’t rebuilt my life, he restored it. God so corrected me in my prayer time last week. I had been saying “A Joyful Place Called Home” “Rebuilding the family…one heart at a time” and God put a check in my heart to draw near and listen. It took me forever to get still (*Sweetie definition for sitting still and being quiet….sometimes over 2 whole minutes) but when I did get quieted…God whispered: “Rebuilding means that the design I had in place had a flaw……I have never made a mistake yet…not even you (as I sensed his deep and gentle laughter)….I have restored your life to what it was originally made to be….full of joy, laughter, blessings, and service for others….I make no mistakes and our work together is restoration…..not rebuilding….you see, my children may take the blueprints I have for their life and change them with their choices, but my plans for them are perfect, and in their submission to faith by obedience their lives are restored”
Wow….so much the walk that I am walking. Each time I allow God to have full ownership of some area of my life, surrender my will to His…..I am restored….fear leaves me….confusion lifts….supernatural peace and help arrives….and God simply loves taking a mess and making a miracle…..its His good pleasure to do so for His children….as it would be to remove the mud that my children play in….and when He washes us with his life giving water….we restore our hearts and our minds to be satiated with a taste that only his everlasting water brings to our lives.
This morning I sit in my office so very at peace in the world. I am so aware that God is God and I am not, for I could not have orchestrated all that is going on in my world, no matter what I did or tried, and though God’s yoke for this ministry is now fitted, I find I am no longer fighting its focus….and it no longer chaffs and rubs me as I fight God to be who He says I am to become…..once again in submission to the Father’s plan for my life….I am restored.
God is God and He is enough!
Today I am meeting with friends for breakfast, then heading back to the Brentwood studio to do some taping….what a privilege to be with the folks at Huntsville Botanical Gardens as well. God is so good, I cannot share fully how precious this time is!
