As a wife I probably would grade a D-. Oh sure, I adore him, I truly do….but what exactly do I do to affirm that in my actions? Do I do the things for our home I know pleases him? Do I hold his opinion in high esteem in front of and without the children present? Do I carefully consider purchases for our household and his needs? Do I honor him in the way that I behave and work during the days and nights at home?
Yet, my beloved is indeed to be my first priority after God our Father. Not whether or not so and so is happy with me, or Sister Sue asks me to lunch, or if I have time for the PTO….my husband.
These last three years God has called me home. It was like bringing home a bucking bronco to a small shed. The house didn’t need nearly as much heat last winter with my hot air keeping it warm. You see I am simply not skilled at keeping house….and then there’s the whole laundry world war going on …and in case you didn’t figure it out, the laundry is winning. Cleaning doesn’t come to me at all, much less as second nature. Its an arduous thing to learn to keep a home clean and organized when you somehow missed the line for organization and cleaning 101 in your life.
This year I am so looking through my home and seeing the financial results of trying to wear the masks of enough. Truth is alot of days you could find dirty clothes in any of my rooms in hampers hopefully….could it be gluttony when one gets to the root of the problem? If one has this many things to pick up, one probably has too much. Truth is, there were many times I simply forgot to prepare meat and it spoiled in my fridge from lack of planning in the first days at home….more excuseable when one works, oversight, but less so when one’s task is homekeeping. Truth is many purchases were ill thought out and later replaced in our home decorating in an effort to publically prepare our home for others…..probably more bought on a whim than a need, yet debts were still not paid off and I was purchasing unncessary items.
Ugh.
God brought me home partially in response to my husband’s life long dream of having the ability to bring his wife home and provide for her. Do you understand that ladies? I have a husband who willingly knows the hardship of one income yet believed for that his whole life as the son of a woman who had to work 3 jobs to keep her son and herself fed. I think that simply hit me between the eyes this summer, that each time I am working/adding to the budget I am taking away from his dream to be our breadwinner. Now he doesn’t mind me making what he calls “pin” money….but he wants to pay the bills. Ouch.
Living contently means so much more than achieving goals. Its setting goals that line up with God’s word. To learn to be at peace in all things because God is in control. That means that even a bride such as I can rely on God to show me me how to make our home more welcoming to my beloved and how to clean it such as never before…..and to help me with right desires to do so.
Jesus commanded us to “Love each other”
This fall I am so studying to personify that command…..in every venue of my daily walk…..and to study to make sure that in my walk of it, its about the order that God aligned. God first. …and through Him everything else.
John 4:24 tells us that God is spirit and his worshippers must worship in spirit and in truth.
Jesus said in verse 34 that he was fed by food that they knew nothing about. “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work”
God whispers to me lately that my own hunger will indeed be fed as I obey him to find contentment at home, to do the work he has set before me and realize that indeed he asks it of me……
and for this I am thankful.
Point to Ponder: If it pleases me so to prepare our home, meal, rooms for my beloved, why am I allowing my flesh and satan’s fiery thoughts to devalue what is my calling?
