Yesterday was Bible study day at my church. I am still a new person in this church not even an official member yet. To come to this Baptist church from a Methodist upbringing already has me from the “wrong side of the tracks” they tease me, and then we add that I married an Assembly of God boy….on a third marriage…well, I’m just thankful most days they don’t bar the door when I pull in.
We’re in week seven of the study on how to allow the Holy Spirit to guide your study. It’s a lesson I am familiar with and continue to learn as I will my whole life. When Les and I married, I didn’t know the meaning of any peace in my life….I was a single mom with two children, commuted 60 miles a day roundtrip to work, worked at night two nights a week and attended church 2 nights a week. When ever I could I had a Mary Kay party each week as well.(we were hooked on having electricity regularly!) On the weekends I had to drive to take the children to their father’s and back, so that added another 3 hours to Friday night and Sunday night. While they were gone I often worked elsewhere. It was not a peace filled existence. Les came into my life, and even in the midst of the greatest storms, he had this peace about him that I wanted….and wanted badly….
There is a difference between knowing God and respecting Him and His son, attending worship or allowing God to know you, work through you, and obeying Him. I wasn’t of the second group for many years. God was the ultimate “you’re never enough” judge in my upbringing….a lot less on love, a whole lot more into wrath and punishment in my childhood church….so after a divorce, I just tried to keep my head down and tried not to be smoted for my wrong doings…..but God had another plan. It was like trying to be silent as a songbird in the middle of a beautiful day sitting on a tree branch that allowed you to see all the gardens below. I’m simply not able to stay silent for long.
Bible study came and went yesterday, our leader announced she would be leaving town for a while…and mentioned she wanted the study to continue without her….I was busy putting away my materials, thankful again for a great week with ladies who are becoming so dear to me. The leader asked to speak to me….”I knew it, rumbled through my mind….they are going to ask me to leave…I shared a little too much about the Holy Spirit in my life….was a little too honest about the trials and sins that were in my life….I knew it I knew it I knew it, they are going to ask me to leave” Then she said it “Would you lead the study next week….” ?what?! It’s official, our Baptist church may shake in its very foundations….they have invited me to lead the women’s study….the divorced one…the remarried one…the scarred one…I could see eyebrows raise all around the room…and yet a few others nod gently…. I asked her “are you sure it will be alright with leadership?” and at the very same moment I heard God’s whisper again “you will become my teacher one day” that He had whispered to me many years ago when I was first divorced and so aware that my life was in tatters…..at the time it seemed impossible, improbable…..yet….at church and in other places…..it.is.happening.
It’s a humbling and breathtaking place to have God take the ashes of your flesh and use every mistake you’ve made and been forgiven for to share His love to others who may be hurting, or have a child who is hurting, or be the grandmother of yet someone else who is hurting….to share with them how God has restored my life, how He will use their lives as well if they will allow Him…..and turn it into something beautiful and new.
So my friends, its official, I was NOT sent to the Principal’s office…..but my Principal and Creator has yet another new lesson plan for me…..and I couldn’t be more in awe that its happening.
1 Peter 5:10
In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation
Father God,
I am ever amazed at your infinite goodness. I thank you for indeed making this verse so true in my life….for firmly holding me through all my disobedience and loving me anyway….for patiently walking this walk with me, guiding me, and for always leading me to new waters in you. Help me to remain joyful and to not allow anything to interfere with the Word you have to share. In Jesus name.
P.S. and the hair fix must have worked, the girls at Bible study seemed to think I did the new fix on purpose!
