Tonight we arrived home with three of our four children at home after a summer of everyone being scattered to the winds. I arrived home from an eleven day business trip to Dallas on Thursday late, had a Friday meeting blow two hours from home, then miraculously resolve, then drive back 7 hours to pick up the children on Sunday morning…drive 3 more hours to visit with family from across the country…then home… Whew I am tired simply thinking about it!
So many unexpected twists and turns to what I thought this summer would be, God is God and I am simply not. I am often amazed and always encouraged at how our Father in heaven knows our paths even when we think we are in the middle of the desert and the canteen has run very dry. This summer I have had the hardest battle of my flesh versus my faith that I have ever had….the complete surrendering of my need to control versus my need for faith in God’s control.
Can we simply say, I spent alot of summer in unncessary mental misery as I tried to “logic” whatever this is God is doing in our lives out…
By the way, God loves to use the absolutely unprobable to do the seemingly impossible, and often while he enjoys watching us all see him do his work. There have been moments of seemingly sure things that simply vanished, while absolutely impossible happenings happened without a hitch….God is God and we are not.
Again I am learning the value of first things first. Praise, pray, listen, praise, thank…listen some more…act. God indeed inhabits our praises, and as Ruthie Jacobsen has written, in our darkest moments, our hardest times: God Wants To hear You sing. My summer has not been a dark, nor a hard time, yet it goes down in my diary as one of my personal most difficult for reasons i cannot fully disclose yet…but I know God has had me on his potter’s wheel and as he spun the table, my imperfections surface and he continues to work through them….
I wake up each day to the full knowledge that i am simply whatever He made me to be….not what I make me to be….not what I would long to be…but the creation my Creator made me to be….and I try so very hard to find that girl….and own her heart….
God is God, and i am thankful he loves me just as I am….an imperfect child, wife, mom, and stepmom, yet loved despite my imperfections….perfectly…
