Celebrating is important. As a mom and step mom, wife, and employer, it is so important to me to help my children , our gifted folks, and friends recognize the value of celebrating effort and encouraging it. Life isn’t about one “win” it’s about developing the character, the habits,
and the thought processes that lead to a winning life. It seems to me that the moments like last night at the Ryman, where individuals go past their own focus, their own time constraints, and their own busy-ness to reach out for another and celebrate the gifts of a husband and father who has passed on, is the true win. (the honored one’s video is here, cry warning: Tim Johnson has passed away since this video…the words truthful as his next birthday didn’t come on earth) You see our gifts are for others, and the joy of God’s economy, is we are happiest and most successful in our lives when we are able to engage those gifts.
Yesterday I received a text from my nineteen year old college boy. It was a simple picture of a letter. One that said he had accomplished a desired goal and been chosen for the next steps of personal and professional growth. It delights my heart that he set a goal, he studied hard for the tests of that study, and he excelled. Truth is, the wins were much more evident than the letter yesterday. He had set a goal, managed his choices well, taken daily time to learn what would be required without blowing his exams in college at the same time, and accomplished great results at both.
You see, like my friend Sarah, I want my children to feel they can set and achieve goals with diligence and effort applied in meaningful ways. I don’t want to stand over them like Sadie sits over me, disappointed I am not doing as she desires, and guilting them to do so. (Sadie could sell ebooks on methods of guilting your way to walks) Too often today, I see people putting so much effort into a goal, but too often it is not meaningful progress or processes. It’s all or nothing, or it’s in a direction that creates havoc in the rest of their world. They haven’t truly identified the steps to reaching that goal, but prefer to go to their standard “keep busy”, “activate impulses instead of instructions” and “fast forward regardless of needs” motions that deceive them. No one ever wins through worry and self destruction.
Celebrating the win for me means that while I am working on a goal, I am visualizing it’s action in action. What that goal looks like, feels like, acts like, requires to be “it.” Then I deconstruct it to doable actions that do not overwhelm me. (well, that’s the goal anyway) and I plan for the celebration of the mini modules and baby steps as I go. Let me assure you, at my house, there is a whoop and a hollar when I actually remember to put in a load of laundry, dry it, hang it up, and put it in my closet before a road trip’s need for packing. (can I hear an AMEN that it is better to have clean clothes when one has to leave town the next day by 7 am) It’s not about the moment on stage, as it was in the Ryman last night, thought I adore those moments, I really do. It’s about celebrating the processes that bring peace to my life. Each skill and new process achieved is a journey of celebrating. What do you celebrate in your life? In your loved ones lives? Coworkers? Do you sparingly save the celebration for a couple of moments a year, or do you find ways to have meaningful celebrations throughout your day, week, month….
My friend says that “Competence is best achieved through a series of short term successes .” A mouthful, but oh so true. It was evident at the Ryman, that the artists learned to practice, play, sing, and perform …they didn’t just show up knowing the glorious skills, they learned how to engage their gifts through meaningful moments, diligent efforts, and professional alignments of their gifts. The doing of those skills part of the celebration of last night’s performances…they knew they had put in meaningful time to reach the pinnacle of the Ryman.
We repetitively do actions that become meaningful to our lives when we recognize and celebrate their value in our every day actions. Personally, when I know the action creates outcomes, I am more likely to do the action then celebrate the choice to be good to me. As a mom, I have learned that fussing about what’s wrong is not half so meaningful as praise for what is a success building characteristic or behavior. As an educator I believed in “catch them exercising skills for success” being teachable, being responsible, offering to help others, taking on responsibilities without supervision, etc. Let me assure you that my children and I are all more likely to do things that work for us when we realize the value that action has in our lives (well, it works with everything except repetitive loading the washer and dryer and finding hangers for me)
What do you celebrate in your own actions? How do you encourage your own efforts? How do you like to be encouraged? Personally I am a
presence sort of girl. Though I love presents too. Particularly meaningful are small things I can touch to remember. (you should see the box of rocks that I’ve carried one pebble at a time to remember I was there) My husband and children know that “being present” is a celebration for me. My husband drove two hours each way after a long day of work, to be present at an event last night and shared the moment with me. During the day I had celebrated a client and her hot shot photographer by being simply present for an important pre-photo shoot for her new album cover. Their diligence to work in advance, to get the set “just right” is something I value. It was work, they don’t get that level excellence without it, but it was fun.
In my family, that “on the spot” text message from college boy, was a way for us to share in the moment the celebration of effort put forth, without blowing his methods of operating as a cool college guy….after all, Mothers are such embarrassing creatures right? Heaven forbid I Facebook or tweet him publicly. 🙂 It’s my secret weapon…”that room looks like a candidate for posting…” (The Parenting Union extends my membership in such moments)
The wins in life are exciting. Public events, letters of acceptance, or the end of projects that culminate in top of the charts are not the big wins. The biggest wins are in overcoming the small daily battle to become who we are, to use our gifts, to fight the good fight until the race to be our best self is over. (and by the way, my friend J says that doesn’t happen…arriving at our perfection…until we’re with him in heaven) Knowing that the goal isn’t perfection, but perfecting our peace through which His provision will define our paths, then I choose to celebrate each baby step along the way.
You know for me it’s about finding ways to acknowledge and encourage new skills that bring peace and productivity to my life… celebrating through out the day when I value ME enough to support the presence of peace in my life. Celebrating has become a part of my daily life and it helps it to create a space of being that allows my heart to beat…..in a joyful place.
