This weekend was my step daughter’s wedding. The weeks leading up to the wedding were concerning for me. While our step daughter’s natural mother and I do not have any issues, there is much stress that often accompanies any wedding weekend, much less one where ex wives and current wives and brides all work in the same room.
I was very aware that this was about the mom of the bride and the bride. I wanted very much to support our step daughter and “be” there for her needs, but not to be in the position of taking over or taking away from anyone else’s role.
We set some boundaries to make the weekend easier. We did not stay with family or friends while we were there. We needed the personal space of a hotel room this round. We limited what we did agree to participate in. After a ten hour drive to arrive, we knew that our children would need rest and relaxation, so we did not say yes to more than what we needed to partipate in. There were so many more activities than one could possible be a part of. My husband did a few activities with our step daughter alone so they could have precious time together. I am aware that sometimes we simply want just our “original” family and I did not mind a bit! I feel the same way about my own dad since my mom’s death and his remarriage. There are some shared experiences that are simply between dad and daughter no matter how much you love step mother.
We were careful to choose food carefully. Carb loading means emotional outbursts in our family, so we worked on making sure the children and ourselves ate protein high meals and had stress relief such as swimming in the heated pool each morning early. It helped to keep the activities filled weekend stress free.
The wedding went really well, daughter did a beautiful job of getting her dreams met on how she looked and the cake. Those were her two focus areas. I was really proud of her, and how both families came together in love to support our child!
I realized this morning I am now a mother in law….a step mother in law no less….my my my….do I get a choice in this?
Yay God! You were in the center of it all this weekend!
