Uncovering the Masks

There are many schools of thought on how Christians should act. I think the whole issue is too many Christian folks are acting. God does not ask us to be less than who we are. He gave us emotions, He gave us dreams, He gave us love. What God does ask us is to not let the sun go down on our anger, not to hold grudges, not to embrace resentment. One of the continual God whisperings for many years for me has been “It is not your place to judge others, but to love them with my love.” This has been a hard lesson live when a husband leaves you, when others abuse you, when attempts at kindness are returned with ugliness. But the truth is love does cover a multitude of sins, and very often those who hurt us, who say ugly things, are hurting and need our love and forgiveness most of all.

One of my daily goals is to live transparently before God and others around me. It is not a fun goal to face daily. Transparent Christians allow others to see their joy, their struggles , their failures, and their pain at times. It means uncovering your shame, and at other times it means sharing your victories. I came from a world that taught women and men not simply have good manners, but to banish “realness.” One of the old gentlemen from my childhood said of a well respected Christian in our church “You’ll never know if you offended him, but you might wake up dead one morning.” That bothered me for years. Not because I feared death, but because one Christian man upheld in esteem and honor the mask that the person had as something to be wanted…..I believe that Christ expects us to give up our masks of perfection, our masks of falseness, of trying to be something we are not. I do not believe we are to wait until people aren’t looking to deal with our anger, upset, or revenge. In fact, God tells us we are to go straight to the source if we are upset, to solve the upset by sundown, to forgive over and over again, or to simply walk away from those who cannot accept us in Christian love.
My personal life has been messy. I haven’t survived two very broken marriages and then had the courage to attempt a successful third marriage without owning ugly baggage that had to be unloaded and replaced with God’s grace. The third wife journey is not without its mountains to climb and overcome as well….whether it is as a step mom, mom or simply as a damaged, insecure woman who has been left by those she loved before. God has healed as many of my wounds as I have allowed Him to heal…. He will heal them all as I surrender them to Him. Isn’t it funny that we often cling to what we know instead of being willing to embrace what God has for us?
I personally fought tooth and nail, as did my parents upon his arrival in my life, this magnificient blessing of a husband God has sent into my life. Ashamed from being left behind twice, that book Left Behind btw, has always had a different meaning for me…..embarassed of what people would think if they knew I had been married before. I assure you, eight years ago, I would have told you that only really needy folks tried for a third marriage after two flaming disasters. How in the world could they embarass their families that way I thought……Yet God forgave me, and has restored my life and those of my children in ways we could have never imagined when He sent Les into our lives. Yes, I’ve been married twenty some odd years, but it has taken three marriages to arrive there. One of my family members likes to tease, two got away, but the third one seems pretty well hooked for the reeling home. I’m not proud of that fact, its simply part of who I am, and what I have become. What do you want me to do with that part of my past? Pretend its not true? Be ashamed forever? Keep my head low because after all, divorce is a sin?
Isn’t it funny what sins we think are shameful? Which sins have more weight than others? What sins we are willing to think “I’d NEVER do that” then those sins we do every day that we seem to think “Yes, well, but I’m human.” A friend of mine pointed out yesterday that divorce was not one of the sins God’s hates on his six biggest sins list….and she pointed out the list again…