Upon Turning 50

As I grew up I believed that 50 would be the birthday that began life on my own terms.  I don’t know where that first concept came from, but somehow I noticed that my parents friends had a different zest for life about the time their children entered college and their life took on a different joy. Parenting was a hard won choice for me and I love the role of parent, grandparent, mentor and adopted guardian.  My heart delights in the engagement of another and doing so with the joy of watching a mind and heart grow under your care is just a world of blessings.

50.

This year I chose to focus on “allowing,” knowing I would turn fifty in August I knew there were some new concepts I would need to allow in my life to achieve the life I wanted to live daily in my existance. It began with a few important concepts:

• I want to allow more daily time for joy in my life, for thankfulness, for attention to what already IS a blessing in my day
• I want to choose to allow more health in my life with intention….shooting for 60 more years and need to service the carrier of this body!
• I want to allow myself permission to be who I am more fully, 24/7, without guilt, shame, or lack of compassion for this high Creative mind I survive.
• I want to know that I know that I know that when each day is done I have kept priorities in tact most days
• I want to laugh, play, create, and do life more instead of wishing I had.

Saturday night, despite all the silly interruptions to the week, at the last minute, I threw together a few friends in the tacky brown house for my birthday.  My actual birthday was Sunday, the 24th, but I knew I wanted to wake up on my birthday knowing the party was past…and worship was on!  When one lives through a renovation, there is always a price to pay for unexpected gatherings. Friends showed up and as a gift cleaned and organized the latest layers of hot mess in the house (that alone is the blessing of a lifetime) and then I had to do some self punishment apparently for we organized an unairconditioned soon to be my office building in 100 degree heat at only 1000% humidity…for 5 hours the day before the party. (is there a doctor in the house? We may need the medical one and the white truck on that decision)

After a raucous time in town with a friend securing the quest for the light blue napkins that didn’t exist, we found a chocolate beauty pattern to go with the hershey chocolate ribbon cake and we were off to the races as we pulled in 15 minutes ahead of our guests. You know, life is just better together, as guests arrived they had a task to do from napkins to setting out salads and the fun began.We sizzled steaks, we grilled chicken, we skirted burgers and had a mess of a good time putting it all out. I had a long desired sparkler “S” on my cake and it was the perfect year for it. Our new Grandchildren were mesmerized as was their Mimi.  Oh how fun it was to have young families and old, new friends and old gather for dinner and dessert. God even threw in a storm and the lights went out completing our candle light meal. What.a.tremendous.gift.

It turns out that fifty IS nifty and I’m delighted to give myself permission to not only embrace it, but to use it as the launch path for the rest of my life. I believe deeply in the concept of growing into lovely, and this space, this moment in time, this tacky brown house was the impetus of choosing to own my life and make it my own perch for a life I’d wish to live…and to share with others on their journey.  I’d say that whatever comes…we’ll face it with aplomb …for it begins with learning to love yourself, then others as yourself…and God gave us that plan long before I understood the wealth of the gift.