The last few weeks I have been thinking and re-thinking a statement made to me. The statement was “We all expect something from every relationship, the sooner we disclose to ourselves what each action is intended to create in our lives, the more at peace we become…as we become cognizant of our true motives and have more ownership of who we are”
Hmmm
My first response was “that is pretty calculating” but as I’ve evaluated and watched myself and others, we do often have unspoken yet expected expectations throughout our days.
What are your thoughts?
Addition: 7/2/12
As a Christian believer I believe that our gifts are intended for the service of others, it took me a long long time to be okay with being a successful business person who was paid for her efforts in using the gifts that come so naturally to me. However, this season I have learned that the gift is the good stewardship of their funds, the integrity of my work, and the intent of bringing value to a client’s’ projects that makes their choice to pay me allowable, acceptable to me…for a workman IS worth her wages and work I do. That same good stewardship of funds received will allow me to help others in more ways. Seems silly doesn’t it …but that revelation was indeed one I have struggled with for years…I love giving to give…yet money is indeed a necessary tool.
Sweetie-
I agree that it does soind more calculating than we’d all like to think of ourselves. However, I think the truth is in some middle ground.
There are relationships that we enter into for some specofoc gain. Business realationships are a perfect example. We expect to do business together that is beneficial to everyone. I agree that these relationships are usually cultiavted to bring about our desired end or aim. And yes, if we could get to the “bottom line” sooner, we could return to our “peace.”
I do not think personal relationships travel along this route of cultivation. I think those are more organic and unfold at their own pace. Granted, we may benefit from the relationships or the skills we possess, but we may not. Friendship is not based on any kind of quid pro quo system. Friendship has no agenda, ulterior motive or end-game in mind. Friendship just is…
Martina
Dear Martina,
Upon first reading/hearing the concept I was shocked. My nature is to do because I can do…to help…to support…and while my actions in business are strategic for the clients I work with, my friendship or relationships built on the desire to love others well is not intended to be calculating. The areas though that gained my continued attention had to do with relationships that are trying or difficult and my expectations then…I found that too often other issues came into play. My failure to simply give for giving, or support to be supportive seemed to take on other attributes as I delved deeper in what were the issues beneath the difficulty. e.g. approval or shame…sometimes working through efforts, not emotions to let go of things…and at times with others who took advantage of that pain. It has been an interesting study. Thanks for your comments! Can’t wait to read your thoughts expanded.